He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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