I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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