If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
