wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
