to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
