i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
a search helicopter?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
