i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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