I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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