thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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