Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
