Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
