Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
