sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
