Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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