The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
