you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
