I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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