I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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