just tell him i said nine months
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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