remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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