Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
