halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
