Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
