i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
