A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
