what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
