I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
