It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
