I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
