I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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