Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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