ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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