did you get engaged???
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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