Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
