People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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