I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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