ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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