Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
