Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
