Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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