my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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