we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
