he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
