The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
