Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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