Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
