So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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