I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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