i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
