I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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